Today's Review: The Sea of Trees

Another review belatedly posted here:

The Sea of Trees - recensie

If you thought Gus van Sant would be more suited to make an interesting picture about the phenomenon of the Japanese suicide forest Aokigahara than the creators of the recent bland horror movie The Forest would, you thought wrong. Say what you will about The Forest, it had no other pretentions than being an average spooky flick (except maybe for the 'average' part, but then they should have tried harder). The Sea of Trees, not so. It's a bold potpourri of supernatural thrills, Japanese versus Western belief systems, tearjerking drama and philosophical reflections on the nature of suicide. At least, it likes to be. It sadly fails in every respect, making this a prime candidate for the title of 'Worst Gus van Sant Movie'.

The ingredients for a terrific movie are all there. There's a haunting mystery (a forest where people voluntarily come to kill themselves), a shot at emotionally compelling drama (a husband and wife not getting along but coming together over the latter's impending demise), some damn fine actors (McConaughey, Watanabe, Watts, need I say more?) and lots of wonderful cinematography. The movie only succeeds in offering that last bit to our satisfaction. Whether it's the director or the screenwriter who couldn't be bothered with stringing it all together seamlessly into an intriguing whole is hard to tell. It's certainly not the actors, as all of them appear bored or distracted. In Watanabe's case, matters are made worse due to him apparently having been hired as Hollywood's token Japanese man for this occasion, making him rant on about Japanese superstition ad nauseam. We simply can't learn to care about either him or his American companion, who set out to kill himself but had a change of heart in his desire to help his new local friend get home alive. It's seemingly enough of a motivation after the devastating death of his wife to make him find new faith in life and forget all about his suicidal plans, but not for us to go along with his new lust for living.

We simply cannot care about it all, which also stems from Van Sant's odd choice of going nigh 'full Hollywood' in his dramatic scenes set in the States. Usually he opts for what many consider a more European style, but in this scenario, studio tearjerking methods got his preference. And so we have to sit through dull and ultimately predictable flashbacks explaining the protagonist's desire to end his life, even though, illogically, he and his wife never really got along anyway. The scenes in the forest, meanwhile, offer little more captivating moments or surprising twists. Admirably shot and lit as they may be (though much of it not actually filmed in Japan, but rather Stateside) and accompanied for the most part by decently melancholy music, we still grow restless over the lack of empathy triggered at our side of things. It's not so bad that it makes us want to kill ourselves, but it's still frighteningly frustrating to come to realize that a director who often has something worthwhile to share with his audience, really has absolutely nothing noteworthy to say about a fascinating topic of conversation as the so-called Sea of Trees.

Today's News: Kingsmen, earthquakes, giant monsters: but worst of all, extinction

This is my batch of news the week has yielded thus far:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/158267/nieuwe_japanse_godzilla_in_de_maak

This was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I'm surprised we had to wait for the announcement as long as we did. The new Godzilla remake by Gareth Edwards quickly proved to be a big success worldwide, so of course the original studio is looking to bring back the original monster in its country of origin ASAP. And I don't mind at all. It's been ten years since the "last" Gojira flick, the terrificly entertaining Final Wars, which happened to be its Fiftieth Anniversary celebration. In hindsight, it's a damn shame there's no new Japanese feature to celebrate its Sixtieth, and I suppose the American feature will have to do (and it does fine at that). The question of course is not whether 'we need this', since 28 (!) Gojira movies have proven the creature isn't particularly versatile in both its themes (continuing nuclear angst, almost exclusively) or story make-up: Gojira needs to be destroyed by man, or Gojira destroys other creatures, that's basically the two most prevalent plot routines the majority of the movies follow. I doubt a proper 21st century Gojira will add much novel substance to the franchise, but as long as it delivers decent suit-acting and highly enjoyable Kaiju monster fights accordingly, most people won't particularly care, nor will I.

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/158283/eerste_trailer_san_andreas

Well, this looks positively uninspired. It's basically a remake of Earthquake, though with different human characters. Which of course we won't give a damn about, since disaster movies for the audience really are all about the disaster itself, while the characters serve merely as canon fodder. Throwing a movie star like Dwayne Johnson in the mix doesn't change a thing about that. In fact, it may be somewhat alarming for his career, since disaster movies have an awkward habit of (ab)using actors and stars that are at the tail end of their career. That's why Kylie Minogue is in this film, for example. One cannot help but wonder why Johnson signed up for this project (though it may have something to do with the director, with whom he has worked previously). One also cannot help but be puzzled as to why studio execs greenlit this picture. It simply offers nothing new it appears, both in terms of story but also visually. We've already seen Los Angeles get whacked somethin' fierce by a giant earthquake in 2012. It's really doubtful San Andreas' level of digital destruction will surpass that of the alleged Mother of all Disaster Movies, especially with a director at the helm who is new to the genre. It's highly doubtful someone who doesn't specialize in flicks of extreme demolition could match a disaster movie made by Roland Emmerich. I can't stop San Andreas' director from at least trying, but I can honestly say anybody who has seen 2012, a movie only five years old, will look at this trailer and be befuddled by its apparent excessive redundancy. Only a true major earthquake wrecking the American west coast could add a much needed sense of actuality or urgency to this one.

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/158284/kathryn_bigelow_onthult_leed_achter_olifantenstroperij_in_korte_film

A sense of urgency, however, is exactly what typifies Kathryn Bigelow's latest directorial effort, the shocking short Last Days. The focus on terrorism which could be called a trademark of her oeuvre proves well suited to this short synopsis of the evil at work in the illegal ivory trade, which is not simply threatening but downright causing elephants to go extinct before our eyes. African terrorist organizations like Boko Haram and Al-Shabaab kill these innocent and magnificent animals (and other species like rhinos, too) en masse to sell their tusks to shady South-East Asian criminal networks who make useless trinkets and bogus medicine to sell to stupid rich people in that part of the world. And consequently, the terrorists use the money to kill innocent people as well. It's a lose-lose scenario for both man and beast. Fortunately, we have talented filmmakers like Bigelow and other good people who care enough to combat these despicable practices. In my mind, they're the true heroes of our age, since particularly on the African continent itself, fighting these heinous crimes is not without risk. Graphic material notwithstanding, if I had my way I would show Last Days upfront of every movie playing in theaters. Everything to make the general audience, blissfully unaware of these exact goings-on as they tend to be, recognize the painful reality, so they can sponsor the fight against elephant poaching before there are no more elephants left to poach, which sadly could prove to be a lot sooner than most people would think. Kathryn Bigelow, I salute you for supporting this cause!

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/158292/nieuwe_trailer_kingsman_the_secret_service

And then there's the typical movie terrorist with his grandiose plots and schemes that only involves killing people and just leaves defenseless animals alone. Gotta love the maniacal mastermind with his diabolical ploys that are so completely over-the-top they can only be put down by larger-than-life characters, to effectively remind you you're just watching a movie and reality is nothing like this. Kingsman: The Secret Service sure seems a film in that veign, where only the most British of characters can ward off the impending evil. The kind of evil Samuel L. Jackson is only to happy to supply as he eagerly acts his way through villainhood (do I detect a lisp in his voice, mayhaps?). This new trailer gets me a little more enthusiastic about this project, though that is mostly thanks to the cast infectiously appearing to have a great time with the subject material of silly one-liners and nifty gadgetry. Otherwise, the premise is hardly unique or inspired. I guess we can just chalk this one up as a 'fun ride devoid of any pretensions'. That's fine with me. The ignorant general audience can't consider the plight of endangered species all the time. How about three minutes of elephant suffering mixed with two hours of mindless entertainment then?

Today's Review: Godzilla

Godzilla: ****/*****, or 7/10

You can't keep a classic monster down. All you can do is keep him locked in the fridge for a while, until the time is right to introduce him to a new generation. And so it is with that most iconic King of Monsters, Godzilla. Toho, the Japanese studio behind the creature, hasn't released a new Gojira flick of its own ever since his big 50^th anniversary showdown Final Wars in 2004. As the Big G is turning 60 this year, it seemed about time to revamp him once more for an international audience. Teaming up with studio Warner Bros., making audiences forget about the previous American remake, the dreadful 1998 Roland Emmerich movie, proved the least of challenges. This time, the director's chair was given to somebody who had proven experience carefully balancing human drama and monster action, the man behind the guerrilla style low budget Monsters, Gareth Edwards (whose credits until that point included only that movie). His take on the giant reptilian behemoth makes for one of the finest Godzilla movies yet, but it also frustratingly illustrates just how little you can do with the character.

Thematically, Godzilla has always been an obvious case of 'man versus nature' and this time proves no different. Man's folly playing with powers (usually atomic) beyond his control that end up wrecking civilization has been a prime franchise message since day one, but as it has been a decade since it was last sent to audiences, this is as good a time as any to reapply it to Godzilla's latest origin story. However, Edwards opts to focus most of the plot's attention not on examining Godzilla's existence, but his foe's instead. This story thread is neatly interwoven with the fate of the Brody family. Living in Japan in 1999, father Joe (the always formidable Bryan Cranston) and mother Sandra (Juliette Binoche) work at a Japanese nuclear power plant, where things soon mysteriously go awry, leading to the plant's destruction and Sandra's dramatic death before her husband's eyes. The area is soon declared a quarantine zone, but Joe can't stop investigating the strange events of that fateful day for the next 15 years, alienating him from his son Ford (a rather bland and forgetful Aaron Taylor-Johnson).

When his father once again causes trouble with his illegal excursions into the forbidden zone, the now adult Ford, a US Navy officer, indulges him to present his case or shut up about it forever. Their father-son bonding trip into the zone makes for a frightful, haunting return to their old family house in a now abandoned, rundown city. Alarming news imagery of the Fukushima area in the wake of the terrible tsunami and the nuclear disaster that followed is successfully evoked by the ruined town set to give this Godzilla movie a 21^st century update that accordingly makes it feel sufficiently current and underscores Godzilla's original themes still claim merit. Stumbling onto a secret government operation, the Fords are confronted with the 'MUTO', a giant insectoid creature, millions of years old, that has laid dormant for countless ages, but is now waking up. And all the military might in the world is not gonna stop it from following its natural instincts to feed on atomic energy – it eats nuclear bombs, which kinda sounds like a solution really – and procreate. To the latter end, it has signaled a wake-up call to its mate and the two beasties proceed to hook up again, likely to humanity's demise, with more tragic consequences to the Fords, directly caught in its wake.

Edwards spends quite some time setting up the MUTO's motivations and the plight of the Ford family, soon making you ask a most pertinent question: where is Godzilla? It must be stated that there is surprisingly little scenes of the actual Godzilla in this movie, but when he finally does appear, he does so with a vengeance. The giant reptile is the MUTO's natural enemy of ages past and as one big bug called the other, so too their predator woke up to find its prey, as expert Dr. Serizawa (Hollywood's obligatory Japanese actor, Ken Watanabe) explains, while donning a foreboding look of concern and alarm that irritatingly stays for the entire film. The name Serizawa will sound familiar to Godzilla aficionados, and is just one of many little tidbits Edwards has lovingly thrown in as an hommage to the Japanese movies. The MUTO's, however, are a new invention specifically for this film, but they serve their purpose adequately for resurrecting Godzilla and providing for a good old-fashioned Kaiju brawl at the movie's climax. Just like the Godzilla themes of old have hardly changed, so too does the audience's taste for big monster battles remain, as Edwards all too clearly understands. It just takes quite a while to arrive at that point in the film where the fight finally goes down. We have to sit through many a scene of human character drama that ultimately doesn't make us really care about their plight before we get what we want. Though patience is required, it cannot be denied that the introduction of both Godzilla and his adversaries is slowly but surely built to a crescendo. When the Big G finally does appear for the first time, it will be hard for fans to repress a chill at this reunion with their old friend. It would have been even more effective had the classic Godzilla score been applied, but the current soundtrack proves effective enough.

It's clear Edwards sees no point in redefining Godzilla's look, as Emmerich did before, as this new incarnation of Godzilla stays rather true to the recognizable Japanese forms. Of course, this being a big blockbuster movie, the beast has grown in size considerably to accommodate the humongous budget and the expected onslaught it wreaks on both human cities and the military forces thrown at him. Edwards' respect for the classic Kaiju movie approach of men in suits playing the monsters shows, as you'd almost be inclined to think Godzilla is brought to life again in just that manner. Even the MUTO's motions seem decidedly human at times, but make no mistake: all three monsters are fully digital creations, not guys in suits smashing cardboard sets. Nevertheless, Edwards' ode to sixty years of 'suitmation' is well appreciated. Still, the notable differences in Godzilla's appearance compared to his predecessors, particularly his rather obese bodily features, are bound to tick off some fans.

Unjustly so, as this Godzilla, both the execution of the titular character and the movie as a whole, form a vast improvement over the previous American capitalization of the Japanese property. That said, in terms of story Edwards adds little novelty to the previous fifty years of Gojira. The message remains the same, and is delivered in a rather serious fashion, as this particular Godzilla is certainly one of the darker takes on the character: for Edwards, giant monster movies are a serious business and there isn't much room left for levity. The usual tendency towards flat human character development interspersed between delightful monster battles remains. The fact is, there's only so much you can do with a giant monster. Edwards will be hard pressed to find innovative angles to take his successful reboot in for the next installments. However, as this movie demonstrates, times haven't changed enough for the cautions against man's tampering with nature to subside, nor has the audience changed to such an extent they can't appreciate a good ol' titanic monster clash on the big screen. Even if the upcoming sequels fail to deliver notably new directions for the franchise, clearly Godzilla has enough of a fight left in him for another fifty years.

Today's Review: 47 Ronin

47 Ronin: **/*****, or 4/10

'To understand the story of the 47 ronin is to understand Japan' this movie states as its introduction, attempting to place what's to come in a historical context for audiences unfamiliar with ancient, feudal Japan. The story of these 47 samurai, who witnessed the death of their master which caused them to become shamed ronin and afterwards successfully plotted and executed their revenge to regain their honour and die a noble suicide, is one of Japan's most popular and enduring legends. Such a serious tale of death and dishonour is not the usual stuff of grandiose Hollywood productions and therefore this original saga was embellished with plenty of action, romance and expensive effects to make it more worthy of being turned into a blockbuster movie. However, the heart of the story was left unchanged (something Japanese traditionalists at least will appreciate) and as a result, 47 Ronin proves a rather uncomfortable and uneasy mix of Japanese and western storytelling.

47 Ronin is told from the perspective of Kai, a mysterious halfbreed orphan who is found by Lord Asano of Ako province. Despite the advice of his samurai who consider him a demon child, Asano takes him in because he sees 'something' in the boy. Raised alongside Asano's daughter Mika the orphan grows up to be Keanu Reeves, and they develop a typical secret desire for one another (credibility of which is hindered by the fact that Keanu looks and is much older than the actress playing his love interest, though they are meant to be about the same age). Kai is of course an all too obvious attempt to make it easier for western audiences to identify with the strange and unknown Japanese way of life, but as is usually the result of such additions, Kai gets too important for the story's good, as if the movie's 'natives' are unable to carry out their bold plan without a white man's help. Identification is ever a challenge for the audience where the stoic Reeves is concerned, and 47 Ronin proves no different, though his emotionless expression at least suits the subject matter. However, Asano was right, as Kai is no ordinary boy but is indeed connected with the supernatural. Which is just as well, as it turns out 18^th Century Japan, unlike the original legend told us, was surprisingly infested with the occult, monsters and wraiths. Did I mention 47 Ronin is also a fantasy movie? Well, it is.

Asano suffers a rivalry with the ruthless Lord Kira (who ironically is played by Tadanobu Asano). Hellbent on taking over Ako (and as is typical, everything else too in the long run), Kira employs the talents of a shapeshifting witch (Pacific Rim's Rinko Kikuchi) to stir things up. Kikuchi is evidently enjoying the role of seductive sorceress, but like her boss plays evil only for evil's sake, which makes for a rather poorly motivated, dull duo of bad guys. Their schemes succeed as Asano is tricked into openly attempting to kill Kira in the presence of their shogun, for which he is sentenced to seppuku. Romanticising this act of suicide, Asano's death is overly poetic and bloodless, despite the fact he's disemboweling himself and getting his head struck off. After his death, his samurai are declared dishonoured ronin and, to turn insult into agony, Mika is forced to wed Lord Kira. This will not do, after which Asano's captain Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada, grave and cold as often) plots revenge. And even though he never liked him, he asks Kai to join the quest. Good thing too, as the revelation of his upbringing by forest ghosts sure aids in defeating their monstrous and demonic opponents. Most of which were already defeated in terms of convincing the audience due to the poor visual effects job done on them.

Amidst all the beheadings and dismemberment that follows, it's evident that a different kind of cutting called editing also did not work in 47 Ronin's favour. At times it's obvious that material was discarded, making for an occasionally jumbled flow of the movie's plot, especially in the case of the scenes on the 'Dutch Island', where Kai is sold into a brief life of slavery and gladiatorial servitude. An impressively tattooed pirate, heavily used in the film's marketing campaign, is seen only for a short moment, while the perceptive eye is able to spot a brief appearance by Yorick van Wageningen: aggressive changes in the post-production process reduced his part to the quickest of cameos. At least there is nothing wrong with the design of the movie, which does at times look sensational and exotic, even in 3D. Though little effective use is made of that technology, as the straightforward quest for vengeance is otherwise quite two-dimensional. Despite all the added fantasy spectacle, the story remains the tale of a group of angry knights seeking revenge for the death of their lord. Their sense of honour is all that matters, a point which the movie gets across, but is hard to be approved by everybody. Despite the addition of various grotesqueries and scenes of supernatural suspense to make the story more entertaining and acceptable for the non-Japanese, the general mood of the film is overly sombre and devoid of relatable humour. Not counting a particularly fat ronin who, as overweight people tend to do in Hollywood blockbusters, is supposed to introduce a bit of comedy to occasionally lighten the tone, but fails miserably.

The only understanding western audiences will take away with them from seeing 47 Ronin is that Hollywood and Japanese legend don't mix to everybody's satisfaction. We understand that Japanese notions of honour are obsessed with ritual suicide, choosing death over life even when the situation, from our point of view, would definitely dictate differently. As the movie is transformed into otherwise fairly standard fantasy fare, the conclusion of the legend is left unchanged: evil has been vanquished, the land made safe, but still the 47 ronin are ordered to die, as per the climax of the original story. No happy end by western standards here, as Keanu and his fellow warriors take their own life (gladly, even!), leaving their grieving loved ones behind, for such is their way of honour. At times it feels like 47 Ronin means to make suicide a popular trend by extolling its virtues. Western audiences can only stand amazed by what at times appears to be a genuine glorification of seppuku. In this regard, the Japanese can be glad Hollywood left the core of their legend untampered despite the addition of witches and monsters to make things more exciting, but a 'gaijin' audience is left estranged as their notions of what constitutes a satisfactory ending – even if it would have been the stuff of cliché – are shattered. To understand the story of the 47 ronin is to acknowledge the extreme clash of cultures between Japan and Hollywood in this matter: 47 Ronin makes that much painfully clear.

Today's News: the big G stomps his way into a new teaser

Not done with MS news posting just yet:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/150606/teaser_trailer_remake_godzilla_online

Seems a solid teaser trailer. We get to see enough of this film to get us interested - if your interest is ever at all piqued by this type of film - in the usual death and destruction Kaiju-monsters tend to cause, ending on the big reveal of the main antagonist, without showing him off too much, thus keeping us intrigued as to his total form. It seems Gareth Edwards (who previously directed the low budget guerilla shoot Monsters as an homage to Godzilla and similar creature features) has the utmost respect for the big beastie, judging from his all too similar appearance compared to his Japanese counterparts, as opposed to the previous American Godzilla, which was and looked too much like an overgrown iguana. Also, Edwards makes it clear this movie is all about Godzilla himself; there's no human characters in sight here, despite the cast boasting such names as Bryan Cranston, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Juliette Binoche and the regular go-to Japanese guy for Hollywood flicks, Ken Watanabe. In fact, even the voice-over is not from any of the movie's standard cast, but a historical citation from Robert Oppenheimer. His chilling, haunting quote referring to the Bhagavad Gita is always a good choice when speaking in terms of nuclear holocaust, and in cinematic fiction, the offspring of such human folly, the giant monsters out to get mankind for its hugely irresponsible ways. Speaking of monsters, the teaser also indicates Godzilla is not the only big boy in this film. At least one other giant creature is visible, though it doesn't appear to be in perfect health anymore, undoubtedly having been knocked to smithereens by the big G's fire breath (you'd think after nigh on sixty years other Kaijus would know better than to mess with the King of Monsters!). Seems we can expect some decent Kaiju on Kaiju action - in terms of fighting, I mean! - besides Godzilla thrashing puny humans, as he also does best.

Overall, I'm teased. One thing's for sure: it can't actually be worse than the 1998 American attempt.

Today's Mini-Review: The Wolverine

The Wolverine: ***/*****, or 7/10

Hugh Jackman returns to the role of Logan, the X-Man with the healing factor and adamantium skeleton and claws, for the sixth time (after only a brief but hilarious cameo appearance in X-Men: First Class (2011)). Several years after the cataclysmic events of X-Men: The Last Stand (2006), that witnessed the death of his beloved Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) at his own hands for the greater good, Logan is still in agony, travelling through Canada aimlessly in search for something to believe in again. When young female ninja Yukio (Rila Fukushima) finds him at a bar picking a fight with irresponsible hunters, she offers him a chance for redemption, of sorts. Her employer, the powerful Japanese clan leader and major industrialist Yashida (Hal Yamanouchi), is dying and wants to thank Logan for having saved his life back in 1945, when an atom bomb was dropped on both their heads at Nagasaki. Logan haphazardly accepts the invitation but is dismayed to learn the old man's offer of taking his “curse” of “immortality” – not wholly accurate, as Wolverine isn't truly immortal, he just ages much slower than everybody else – for himself so he won't have to die,and Logan can live a normal life if he so chooses. All too soon, Logan finds himself immersed in a complicated web of intrigue in the clan's affairs, revolving around Yashida's legacy and his decision to leave everything to his granddaughter Mariko (Tao Okamoto) upon his demise. Before long, the girl has to run for her life, dodging Yakuza bullets and ninja swords, but fortunately Logan has taken a liking to her and aims to protect her from harm. Matters turn worse when Yashida's shady physician, a sexy mutant poisoner named Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova), manages to disable Logan's healing abilities, thus rendering him vulnerable. 

Credit has to be given to Jackman for sticking to the Wolverine character for so long, which prohibits the use for a reboot at some point as most other superheroes with movie careers have already experienced. It also allows for Logan's emotional and sensual side to be explored, something director James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma) doesn't amply succeed in. It seems odd for this typically 'loner' character, who finally found a family with his fellow mutants, to just go and get himself caught up in what's basically a very private affair in a family he doesn't know, in a culture he hardly understands, even though he had nothing to lose. The various family ploys and their ramifications for Japanese and Yakuza politics hardly feel coherent, as everybody has his or her own motivations for gaining power, some of them underexposed, others needlessly complicated and layered so their bigger picture proves difficult to grasp. Logans romantic entanglement with Mariko is a typical Hollywood love plot, except for Logan being plagued by inexplicable, pointless visions of dear deceased Jean: of course her death still haunts her, but apparently her mental powers have left some sort of astral imprint upon Logan, or so I surmise since the writers never bother to fully explain this aspect of the plot. It just seems like an overly simple, lazy excuse to get Famke Janssen back for a few short sequences. Whatever the movie lacks in character logic it mostly makes up for in action, with a knife fight on the roof of a high speeds train as the most intense moment in that category. Otherwise however, the action scenes seem somewhat repetitive with their focus on samurai and ninja clichés, culminating in a big action piece between Logan and a mecha-warrior with a burning sword, which is this movie's take on Marvel's original Silver Samurai character. The make-up of some featured characters sure deviates from their original comics counterparts, as was to be expected but necessarily appreciated. Similarly to Silver Samurai now being a robot-armour instead of a kinetically charged mutant in shiny, traditional Nippon warrior garb, Viper has transformed from a typical assassin dabbling in assorted toxins to a full fledged snake like mutant, complete with silly forked tongue, the ability to spit poison and skin shedding issues. The only character who stands out next to the ass-kicking Wolverine himself is the tough, lite and wise-cracking Yukio, both dangerous and playful, who brings some much needed lightheartedness in an otherwise all too dramatic and emotionally heavy superhero film. The Wolverine is only a minor improvement over Logan's previous solo adventure X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009). Though more room is given for Logan's personal turmoil, the side characters for the most part aren't as colourful and compelling this time around, nor is the action delivered in a diverse manner to keep capturing the audience's imagination. Nevertheless, the short teaser for the next X-flick, next year's X-Men: Days of Future Past, wedged in halfway into the end credits, sure makes the levels of anticipation rise tremendously, considering what other popular characters make a comeback.

Today's News: who watches the Wolverine?

Fresh off MovieScene!:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/145774/eerste_trailer_the_wolverine

As a Marvel fan, I'm naturally excited by this slick trailer: any prospect of seeing Wolverine hack his way onto the big screen (again) is welcome. Even though I wasn't a big fan of its predecessor X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) and I know full well the Japanese part of the character's history can suck when in the wrong hands (i.e., Fox), this film doesn't look so bad. Overall it seems we're in for a stylish, action packed ride. That said, there's a few things that peeve me, most notably the concept of rendering Wolverine "mortal". In my mind, formed by two decades of vigorously reading through comics, Wolverine was never really immortal: he just ages very slowly due to his healing abilities. But as we have seen before, he ages nonetheless; from a ten year old boy around 1850 to a man in his early fourties in 2010. It's not a fast process, but it's definitely aging. There's a difference, albeit a subtle one. Then again, this is only a trailer and there's various ways we can (mis)interpret this, based on just the trailer. Maybe people around him think Wolvie is among the undying: he's certainly impossible-to-kill enough to assume he is. Heck, he might even think that himself if he's still suffering from memory loss (though it remains to be established just when this flick is taking place, but most likely between the events of  X-Men Origins: Wolverine and X-Men (2000), so a bit of amnesia is to be expected).
I'm also not overly fond of the look of the character of Viper, the seductive and lethal female assassin. She doesn't resemble her comic book counterpart much, and she actually looks kinda slutty. Like I said before, it's too early to tell whether the character is any good based on just a trailer. For now I'll keep an open mind. James Mangold is a very capable director (loved 3:10 to Yuma, one of the best modern westerns) and I have faith in his take on our beloved indestructible mutant. At least it seems the movie strikes a decent balance between action and character development. It can't be much worse than the previous separate Wolverine movie anyway. But what the hell is Jean Grey doing there?

This new poster is also bitchin'!

Bridge on the River Kwai, The

Rating: ****/*****, or 9/10

Phenomenally gripping epic and classic war movie like only old-school master director David Lean could deliver. In a Japanese concentration camp, a group of British POWs under the command of stiff upperlip colonel Nicholson (Alec Guinness) is ordered to construct a bridge over a jungle river. Meanwhile, Allied Command has also learned of the bridge and has dispatched a team of men, led by Major Warden (Jack Hawkins) and Shears (William Holden), an escapee from the prison camp everyone considered dead, to destroy it. After a gruesome trek through the dense Indochinese jungle, the saboteurs arrive, but will Nicholson allow them to blow up the result of all his hard work? Solid plot and superb acting, particularly Guinness in his role as a colonel completely devoid of emotion, who sees the bridge as a symbol for English spirit during adversity, a triumph of British leadership over Japanese barbarity, but at his heart is simply suffering from obsessive compulsion over his command and racist attitude towards his Asian captors. The movie boasts impressive production design and most of it is real: if you ever want to see a train crashing down an exploding bridge for real, go and see this magnificent film, which was good for seven Academy Awards. Lean would later outdo himself with the brilliant Lawrence of Arabia (1962).

Starring: Alec Guinness, William Holden, Jack Hawkins

Directed by David Lean

USA: Columbia Pictures, 1957

Big Tits Zombie

Rating: */*****, or 1/10

Absolutely dismal attempt to make something resembling a horror comedy, like only the Japanese in their sick psycho minds could produce (any Japanese people that have seen this thing would undubitably concur with me in that last bigotry ridden statement). Easily one of the worst films I've ever seen, which unfortunately even ended up in my movie collection (I never knew my friends disliked me so much they would give me this monstrosity for my birthday... but at least I didn't pay for it, except for the ten years it took away from my life by giving me brain rot). Except for a few nice naked breasts sparsely displayed throughout, there's just nothing redeemable about this audiovisual piece of poo that by rights shouldn't even be allowed to be called a movie, since that would insult anyone who's ever worked on proper films. The plot, if there is such a thing here, revolves around a few exotic dancers (a bunch of girls with hardly any acting experience, which is clearly revealed) who find themselves under siege by completely unconvincing looking zombies (my cat's fleas could have provided better make-up effects!) after discovering some old book containing incantations capable of resurrecting the dead. Every supposed joke the brainless mutants called 'writers' make misses its mark completely, making this movie so painfully cringeworthy this flick is very hard to sit through, even though it's running for only 74 minutes. To make matters worse – yes, that is actually possible – the movie boasts 3D effects: every time an icon pops up in the corner of the screen, you can put on your 3D glasses, but what is seen when wearing these is not 3D, it's just jumbled, messed up imagery, inducing nasty headaches within seconds. Depth is obviously non-existent in every way here, it might as well be called a 0D movie. If there ever is such a thing as a public movie burning rally somewhere, this is the title you're most likely to see in agony on the bon fire; I'd be first in line to make sure no copies of this horrific pile of garbage survive the event. Original Japanese title: Kyonyȗ Doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippȃ 5: if there's indeed a part 1 through 4 of this (I never bothered finding this out), watching the series in a marathon is nothing short of committing seppuku, the dishonourable version.

“Starring”: Sola Aoi, Risa Kasumi, Mari Sakurai

“Directed” by Takao Nakano

Japan: Big Tits Dragon Production Committee, 2010

Animatrix, The

Rating ***/*****, or 6/10

A total of nine short films makes up the whole Animatrix, which in itself is an expansion of the Matrix universe as seen in the trio of Matrix films. Released on home video (though one of these did make it to cinemas as a short film attached to Dreamcatcher) between the release dates of The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, the Animatrix seemed largely an attempt to cash in on the Matrix hype (like the video game Enter the Matrix did too, simultaneously) at its height when the second film has just been released and confused audiences worldwide, and before the third film would hit theaters and disappoint... well, everybody. The Animatrix does honor the many Japanese influences of the Matrix films, and is animated for the most part in typical anime style, while also directed for the most part by Japanese directors. The quality of the films varies. Of most interest are those films dealing with the origin of the machines and the Matrix itself (The Second Renaissance Parts 1 and 2), while some of the other films touching upon the Matrix world less directly range from being modestly entertaining (Beyond, Program) to utterly bizarre (Matriculated). A true mixed bag, but a worthy attempt.

Starring: a great number of voice artists, among them Keanu Reeves and Carrie- Anne Moss

Directed by numerous directors, including Peter Chung and Mahiro Maeda

USA: Warner Bros, Pictures, 2003