Today's News: Turtle power!

Here's a recent news flash I posted online just yesterday:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/156312/nieuwe_trailer_ninja_turtles

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/156308/character_posters_ninja_turtles_online

These are not my turtles. What else can I say? They don't look like the turtles I grew up with, they don't sound like the turtles I grew up with. However, upon rewatching last year, the turtles I grew up with didn't seem that great as I remembered them. It was a painful tete-a-tete with my cherished childhood memories that suddenly left sort of a sour aftertaste. The early Nineties' cartoon was definitely targeted at kids, and just didn't seem so awesome as once it did as an adult. (At least the action figures still do, but that's a different thing.) As for these new Turtles, the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' immediately comes to (my) mind. If the trailer is any indication, this movies offers everything the cartoon used to offer in a (half) nutshell. All the core ingredients are there, including the hokey humour telling us we should not take any of these ludicrous situations involving mutated animal/human hybrids at all seriously. Like we were going to. The characters are largely identical, except Shredder doesn't seem Japanese (or at least the actor who portrays him, William Fichtner, doesn't). The quartet of reptiles and their rodent sensei, as well as dashing star reporter April O'Neil (Megan Fox, take it or leave it) seem pretty much unchanged in nature.

More so in look, obviously. I can't deny giving the four titular protagonists more divergent styles of clothing instead of having them all dress the same except for their colours (and their signature choice of weaponry) isn't such a bad idea as it gives the characters more distinct personalities. Too bad these characters seem written around such overly archetypal lines. They always were of course, but you never noticed it that much because they all looked so similar, making one team of characters seem more dynamic than it actually was. I'll admit to the kids in the street these Ninja Turtles might very well seem like the next cool thing, as the studio and its partner-in-profits Hasbro get ready to groom them for buying movie tie-ins they don't really need, just like the cartoon made me do back in the days. I won't go in the typical cynical, whiney state of complaining Michael Bay (the producer, if you didn't know yet) raped my childhood, since voluntarily revisiting my childhood heroes, or at least their audiovisual equivalents, caused some emotional trauma in itself by my own hand. I do regret the choice of director in this case though, as Jonathan Liebesman has so far mostly made very bad movies driven by expensive but bland visual effects coupled with an abundance of American patriottism. It's likely this movie will therefore prove to have been just his cup of tea, then.

No evil transdimensional disembodied brain in this one? I guess they're saving that for the sequel.

Today's Triple News: a teenage game of Goonies

Posting here, posting there, posting movie news everywhere:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/154984/teaserposters_teenage_mutant_ninja_turtles_online

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/154985/game_of_thrones_met_twee_seizoenen_verlengd

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/154931/goonies_ii_bevestigd

More Game of Thrones? I'm game. *insert smiley emoticon* Merriment aside, this is a logical step for HBO at this junction. Game of Thrones' ratings continue to go up, profits continue to come in, and to ensure viewers cancellation isn't looming around the corner - which is always something the audience fears tremendously, and the thought of it might discourage new viewers to start viewing - they renew the show not just for one but for multiple seasons, to send a strong signal the series will remain very much alive for a while longer. At this rate the series might very well make it to that total of 'seven or eight' seasons the showrunners expect to crank out of it. Considering the quality of this series coupled with the fact how much I love it (doesn't everyone?), this is nothing but good news for me. Better news of course would be HBO's commitment to see the series through to its very end without pulling the plug prematurely should ratings go down after all, but that's more or less unheard of. This way you can still keep the audience in suspense somewhat as to the ultimate fate of the show. Remember, all shows must die.

A franchise that does not seem to want to stay dead is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The concept is currently up to its third cinematic incarnation. Previously we had guys in suits and a fully animated film, this time both approaches will be mixed to make for digital characters interacting with flesh and blood counterparts. I care naught, for me the one and only Turtles will always be the old early Nineties cartoon. And even that isn't as good as I remember it to be upon rewatching. This current reboot feels too much like an excuse to sell more toys, much like Transformers and G.I. Joe (same studio too). Michael Bay's involvement wasn't something that made me clamour for renewed turtle power either. It seems those early rumours about turtles from space has fortunately been debunked in favour of a more traditional look though. These teaser posters effectively reaffirm that position, considering they first and foremost throw the fanbase a bone by revealing what hasn't been changed about their Turtles: their signature colour scheme and assorted weaponry. Unless these armaments and colours end up belonging to different turtle characters that we currently assume, but who in Hollywood would be dickish enough to pull off such a disrespectable prank?

Speaking of needlessly readressing past franchises, how's about The Goonies? If it wasn't for this rumoured semi-confirmed sequel, you would not even call it a franchise, but apparently the 1985 movie made enough of an impact that (some) people are still talking about in 30 odd years later. That's not enough to warrant such a late sequel though. In fact, you'd think a reboot would make more sense at this point, considering the original cast has all grown up big time by now (physically at least). If the original involved kids looking for subterranean treasure (that's as much as I know since I honestly haven't seen this film: shame on me, true...), a sequel that serves us adults looking for the same thing doesn't sound in line with the predecessor much. More likely it will be about their own offspring repeating their parents' shenanigans, with the original cast added for nostalgic flavour. That's the only way I could see a sequel work. But I still don't think they ought to make a sequel (or reboot, or re-imaging) to every old success story. Better find some new cinematic treasure in the subconscious cave instead, Hollywood.

Today's News: a fistful of Ninja Turtles

Posted this on MovieScene the other day:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/145719/volledig_kwartet_ninja_turtles_gecast

I'm not all that excited over this project. Though Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles carries a lot of nostalgic value for me (I watched the old cartoon show over and over again and I loved the action figures vigorously ), rewatching a few scenes from that show last year made me painfully aware of how utterly goofy and occasionally cringeworthy it actually was, and needless to say I haven't bothered to check out any of the later versions since. Michael Bay isn't the kind of guy I want to see adapt this childhood gem for the big screen. Destroying the Transformers image with an overdose of overly loud explosions, lousy poop jokes and bad writing clearly wasn't enough for him. Megan Fox seems like poor casting for April O'Neil (or in fact for anything since her acting skills, if any, always remain firmly hidden behind her ample bosom). That said, I am glad less known (or even unknown in a case or two) actors have been cast as the Turtles. I don't know any of these actors, I'm afraid. Considering they'll remain obscured by CG pixels - the obvious way to go, but not necessarily a bad one - it doesn't matter all that much of course, we won't see their faces anyway. Good for them, gives them more opportunity to focus on mastering a turtle's mannerisms. And a ninja's of course. And a mutant's. Plus a teenager's. Turtle Power, guys! Just don't expect me to go all 'cowabunga' on the prospect of this project.