Today's Mini-Review: The Bling Ring

The Bling Ring: ***/*****, or 6/10

Sofia Coppola examines the darker side of fame and celebrity worship in this tale based on true events. A gang of teenagers repeatedly break into the lavish homes of various celebs (victims include Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom and Lindsay Lohan) and steal thousands of dollars worth of clothing, jewelry and other assorted personal belongings (but at least they don't take Hilton's dog). This simple plot line is based around two notions that trigger both surprise and disgust in the viewer. Firstly, the ease with which these young robbers manage to sneak into their targets' villas: in many cases all that was needed was scaling a fence and climbing through an unlocked window, or locating the front key under the door mat. And in some cases the gang succeeded to pay return visits over five times, as if the celebrities they stole from either didn't notice their stuff was missing – which is likely the case, as they tend to be out a lot and own so much stuff they hardly seem able to keep track of it all – or they simply didn't care. You'd almost be inclined to think the stars literally invite the perpetrators to enter their homes and become part of their exorbitant life style, which, as the movie reveals, is all the teens really aspire to in their lives. Secondly, and even more mindboggling, is the fact the illegal actions of this 'Bling Ring' as it was called were met with praise and adulation from their peers all over the country and the teens became minor celebrities themselves. Yes, they got fined heavily and sentenced to serve jail time by the authorities, but many people, equally obsessed with living a similarly shallow life of fame and riches, applauded their actions and their nerve. Coppola is not so much interested in exploring the causes of this rampant fascination with banal celebrity culture that invites emulation amongst young people who seem to care about nothing else than expensive fashion, all-night partying with excessive drug and alcohol abuse and endless posting on various social media about their decadent way of life. She merely records and observes young adult obsession with lowbrow popculture spiralling out of control, as these youngsters find they want a piece of their idols and discover it's all too easy to get it, without really caring about the consequences. For this purpose Coppola assembled a convincing cast of young actors with limited motion picture experience, with the exception of Emma Watson (of Harry Potter fame, obviously), who in many ways could be viewed as the type of celeb that might have fallen prey to this band of kleptomaniacs (luckily she lives in England). Watson delivers the most compelling performance of the group as a girl so devoid of social scruples, hints of intelligence and sense of consequence it's both hilarious and frightfully disturbing. Equally offputting is Paris Hilton's mansion, once a crime scene in regard to the movie's topic, now ironically serving as a location for much of the film. We are treated to a glimpse into Hilton's outrageous life style as we walk through her home as the protagonists are cleaning it out. A personal night club lounge with dance pole, huge closets filled with all kinds of expensive dresses, hundreds of pairs of shoes; you name it, Paris has got it. We can only hope those alleged saucy “private” photographs of hers the gang embezzles are meant as a joke. Coppola's neglect to delve deeper into the decadent teen copycat culture that allowed for these burglaries to happen – which she may have done intentionally so as to make the 'Bling Ring' equally as bland and emotionally boring as it was in real life – makes for a rather dull movie consisting of an intriguing topic but a rather poor execution, as we are basically treated to a bunch of despicable, flat characters going on an endless “shopping spree”, all the while talking about fashion, sex and drugs, but without having anything to say that makes them remotely interesting. Pretty soon you hope for the police to arrest their butts and drag them off to jail to lock these horrid teenagers up for good. The fact that this doesn't happen for over an hour of this 90 minute film, while the young criminals get moderately famous when it finally is time to pay for their actions, does deliver some sort of twisted punch to the piece, but it doesn't make the film easier to sit through.