Posts tonen met het label holiday. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label holiday. Alle posts tonen

woensdag 21 oktober 2015

Today's Review: Ramon en het Paard van Sinterklaas



Here's my first review for FilmTotaal. Same business, different employee.

http://www.filmtotaal.nl/recensie.php?id=45825

The first Flemish Sinterklaas movie is definitely modeled after the Dutch formula. Which is not surprising, since until so far, the Flemish kids had to make do with the myriad of Dutch Sinterklaas titles. And those proved succesful enough to finally convince Belgian producers to develop a Sinterklaas product of their own. And since only one Dutch Sint movie is produced this year - usually it's two, sometimes even more - why not return the favour and release it in Holland? They need not have bothered. Not that Ramon en het Paard van Sinterklaas is particularly bad (though it's certainly not a good family film that wins the hearts of all family members, as it's really only fun for kids), but it doesn't add anything to the slate of Dutch movies covering the topic, other than certain long running characters in Sint's Flemish entourage that the Dutch kids aren't at all familiar with. And most of them aren't so much fun to watch they'll stick in kids' minds for very long.


Aside from that, the film feels very much like its Dutch counterparts. Sint and co. are preparing for their trip up north, something goes awry - in this case, Sint's horse and its attendant are kidnapped - but all ends well and the festivities can procede as they always do, full of mirth and merriment. Add to that a cast of supporting characters (but no children, interestingly enough) to spice things up a bit and you have a thirteen-a-dozen Sinterklaas flick. In Holland, it's good to keep the kids occupied for a good 90 minutes. However, there's so many side characters in this film, that it ends up nigh two hours in length. Too long for the parents, and as it turned out at the press screening where the target audience was represented as well, also quite a challenge for the kids to sit through without getting overly restless. So there at least is a difference with the Dutch method: the Flemish take their time. Other than that, if it wasn't for the accents and the presence of Antwerp, you'd hardly think you were watching a foreign Sinterklaas picture. I would have preferred something more distinct from the Dutch takes on the subject.

The big question on most parents' minds of course is: how are the Belgians portraying Zwarte Piet? It's a white guy in make-up, the blackness explicitly stated to be the result of crawling up and down chineys, just as he was always supposed to be. Good approach. However, thicker layers of soot might have been applied, since this particular Piet (and there's only one of him here) obviously hadn't seen a chimney for months. Which might as well be true, as I doubt he's doing much chimney diving at home in Spain. Nevertheless, when you call a well established character Zwarte Piet and the first reponse he gets from a child is 'is that Zwarte Piet?' because there's so little black on him, you know you're confusing kids needlessly. I'll say no more on the matter than that I applaud the Belgian intentions but their execution still leaves room for unnecessary debate.


zaterdag 29 augustus 2015

Today's Column: Book or phone?


Another month, another column:

Column: Het boek of de telefoon?

Not my finest piece of work, but hey, I'm on vacation so I 'tis not the season to be fully inspired. It's that time of the year to lie in the sun all day and wasting away the hours at your leisure, reading some smashing book or stuff. Which I did, when I wasn't taking country excursions, doing some local shopping or chasing stormy supercells and getting woefully drenched. There wasn't as much sun as I had hoped for, I must admit, but that severe thunderstorm made up for it a bit. At least it wasn't a regularly rainy day, but an exciting reminder of nature's awesome power and a death defying road trip to boot. Yes, this, too, one can experience at the beautiful quiet isle of Texel.

As for the non-issue addressed in my column, against my better judgment I took my new smartphone with me, to keep in touch with whomever I felt I needed to keep in touch with and check my mail more often than was necessary. I spent more time on my phone than I had hoped to, but mostly the slow loading time of Buienradar.nl is to blame for that. That site at least proved a useful tool, considering the erratic weather patterns. I didn't watch any movies on my phone, not even some silly YouTube shorts in some lost hour or two. I did visit Cinema Texel this time. I felt I had too, since my last visit was a year ago and I happen to really like this small but idyllic comfy venue. My movie of choice: Ted 2. Not the best choice, but at least there was a major Jurassic Park reference and the evil, greedy Hasbro toy company was made out to be the bad guy, so that scored points with me. This week's film program wasn't stellar to begin with, though at least the theater proved fortitious enough to skip showing that dreadful Fantastic Four movie (which I already had the sincere displeasure of seeing the week before). A light yarn was the best way to describe the time I had at the movies on this year's visit.

Nevertheless, this trip to Texel made it obvious that no movie can compete with nature's raw power and destructive beauty. And nature proved it is no match for smartphones, since despite almost drowning in torrential rainfall myself, my phone, which I brought with me to capture the stormy event on camera, returned home in better shape than I did. It appears it's kinda waterproof.


maandag 30 december 2013

Today's Column: just a taste of what cinema employees have to suffer through while everybody else is having fun

 2013's final column on MovieScene is now a fact:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/152676/column_kerst_de_bioscoop_en_menselijk_leed

Words alone cannot adequately express the chaos the Holidays cause in movie theaters, but I decided to give it a try anyway. The picture you see in this column, which is not one I shot myself (no cosy blue chairs in my theater!), reveals only a tame glimpse of the mess we have to clean up in over fourty theater rooms each day, but the thought behind it should be clear: people are having a ball, and they care not what happens to their stuff when the lights go on again. Of course we know what we get ourselves into and this is our job so we ought not complain about it too much, but the levels of utter disregard in terms of cleaning up one's own garbage, the sheer disinterest in and disrepect for the theater employees and the total decadence the Christmas vacation inspires in popcorn sales remain ever staggering. Even though my company apparently has reached record levels of attendance (again!) last Friday, this year is no 2009-2010, when we had Avatar to survive. One thing is for sure: as popular as The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug may be, it won't keep audiences coming for another three months on end like that movie did back then. Good thing too, since the last thing the global environment needs is another 'Afvaltar'...

Only had to clean up puke twice this week. That's good news, believe it or not. Now for the second week. If you think that one's easier, think again.
Oh well, wouldn't want to end the year on a note of despair, so here's a funny picture:



dinsdag 23 juli 2013

Today's Column: why I love to go to the movies on Texel



After returning home from vacation, I penned this column for MovieScene:

http://www.moviescene.nl/p/148701/column_de_cinefiel_op_vakantie

Call me lazy, since this is basically just an exposé about my sole cinematic experience on Texel this year, sort of hiding that I wasn't particularly inspired to write something more engaging/engaged because I was too busy basking myself in the sweet sunlight. Basically, I just couldn't be bothered. That said, I do believe there's something to be said for the more relaxed, calm and simple approach Cinema Texel takes to showing their movies, either consciously or unconsciously. It's just so different to the way we see movies at the bigger, really commercial theatre chains. It's a matter of independence most likely. They can programme their movies however they like since they don't have to cater to an a bunch of suits in an office 100 miles away (though I do realize the guy who owns this theatre also owns the one in Schagen, but does that constitute a theatre chain already?). Apart from going digital (and getting 3D-ed in the process), which they had to since 35mm movies aren't produced in the Netherlands anymore, little seems to have ever changed for De Vergulde Kikkert. Just the way I like it. I hope it stays this way forever over there. Now back to the basking.

zondag 2 december 2012

Game of Thrones Season 1 synopsis, Sinterklaas style

As of yesterday evening, Sinterklaas 2012 has come and gone for me. Me and my loved ones had a wonderful time, despite the grizzly weather and the typical frustrations it spawned (like wet presents). Even though I had less than a week to come up with suitable rhymes for the presents I gave to others, I think the result was pretty good. I'm especially proud of my 84 line piece of poetry describing the events depicted in season 1 of Game of Thrones, which I presented to my sister as a gift. Despite suggestions I ought to keep my writing brief, I showed what inspiration hath wrought when its subject is nothing but mesmerizingly inspirable. Simply for fun, I'm posting the poem here.

As seems more and more usual, it's written in Dutch. The Dutch language is ever more present on my blog, and I don't see this changing any time soon. In fact, I might decide to switch to full Dutch mode eventually, just to keep some consistency. Being the hypocrite that I am, I'll definitely keep my blog's name in English. 'De dag dat de nerd stil stond' just sounds too silly...




Voor Lady Saskia,

Fantasy is iets waar jij dol op bent
Dat is Sinterklaas nu toch wel bekend
Sint moet elk jaar weer uren zoeken
Naar door jou begeerde fantasy-boeken
Dat bezorgt hem soms heel wat stennis
Want van literatuur heeft hij weinig kennis
Ja, hij is echt meer van het audiovisuele
Letters op papier kunnen hem amper schele
Wat dat betreft wordt hij flink genaaid
Want fantasy-series zijn dun gezaaid
De zeven goden zij dank voor HBO
Die vond het fantasy-aanbod ook maar zo-zo
En benaderde de heer R.R. Martin
Die zag er gelukkig ook wel een gat in
Te verfilmen het Lied van Ijs en Vuur
Niet als miniserie, maar voor onbeperkte duur
Dat was een zeker schot in de roos
Want het resultaat is ongetwijfeld virtuoos
En ook al heb je de boeken al gelezen
De serie zal ook door jou worden geprezen
Natuurlijk heb je het al gezien
Maar 'n synopsis kan geen kwaad misschien
't Draait hoofdzakelijk om de heer Ned Stark
Een te edele en eerzame stijve hark
Wonend in een 'evil empire' in de dop
Zijn nobele aard kost hem nog eens de kop
Door de hand van de boze koningin
Die vreemd gaat met haar sexy twin
Telg van de rijke familie Lannister
Gebrand de macht te grijpen, hoe sinister!
Hun broertje Tyrion is nog niet zo kwaad
Zijn hart lijkt te zitten op de juiste plaats
Ook al is hij een dwerg, zijn lichaam maar klein
Zijn hoge sexdrift vindt menig vrouw toch fijn
Helaas wordt hij beschuldigd van moord
En door Starks verbolgen vrouw opgespoord
Maar weet hij zijn onverdiende straf te ontlopen
Door zich inventief vrij te kopen
Doch als z'n vader van zijn arrest krijgt te weten
Wordt er om de Imp een oorlog ontketend
Vervolgens sterft ook nog 'ns koning Robert
Die teveel alcohol had opgeslobberd
Zijn erfgenaam blijkt zijn gewetenloze zoon
En wanneer hij bestijgt de Ijz'ren Troon
Valt 't koninkrijk slechts narigheid ten deel
Al snel vliegen Noord en Zuid elkaar naar de keel
In een allesverwoestende strijd om de macht
Terwijl in het noorden valt de winterse nacht
Waardoor een oude mysterieuze kracht
Die duizenden jaren heeft afgewacht
Wakker wordt, volhartig smachtend
Om het ganse rijk af te slachten
Voor het land rest er slechts weinig hoop
Want iedereen ligt met elkaar overhoop
Doordat de adel meent dat de dreiging een grap is
Blijkt dat de grensbewaking nu maar slap is
Die laksheid zal 'n ieder zuur overkomen
Als 't rijk door zombies wordt overgenomen
En de enige redding voor het grote eiland
Ligt in haar oude verdreven vijand
Want in het oosten schuilt er nog Daenerys
Uitgehuwelijkt door haar broer, wat niet fair is
Nu wordt ze door krijgsheer Drogo bruut genomen
Maar gelukkig weet ze dit lot te overkomen
Want ook al moet ze zich heel vaak ontkleden
Ze weet haar eigen plannen te smeden
Om weer aan de macht in het rijk te geraken
Dankzij haar drietal kleine draken
En al die usurpators over de kling te jagen
In een zee van bloed zal dit haar behagen!
Zal zij des koninkrijk's pijn verzachten
Of zal zij zelf het rijk verkrachten
Ja ja, in Westeros is het een dolle boel
Waar lust en passie heerst over eergevoel
Met een gastrol voor het hoofd van George Bush
HBO's politiek is immers niet voor de poes
Bijna had dit tot een ernstig geschil geleid
En werd een fictieve oorlog bewaarheid
Want menig humorloze Republikein
Bleek nu tegen deze serie te zijn
Wees maar blij dat je in Nederland woont
Waar we van zulk conflict blijven verschoond
En dus zal Sint je fantasylust nu belonen
Met de eerste reeks van 't Spel der Tronen

Lord Sint