The stuff of dreams...

Not much movie news this week, nor have I seen any new movies that immediately warrant my critique, so I thought I'd take the time to share some of my dream movie projects, movies that I'd really really like to see get made, even though it seems far from likely they ever actually will be. If I ever got to be a director (fat chance!), these movies would be on top of my priority list to shoot. Now I just have to live in hope someone else will make these films some time or another, though I know the chances of that happening, or even the chances of the final products turning out satisfactory, are tremendously slim to say the least.

Storm

Based on the comic books (there's no better translation for the Dutch 'stripalbums' available) by top artist Don Lawrence (RIP, 1928-2003), Storm is positively space opera gold. After receiving international acclaim with his wonderfully bizarre but epic Rise and Fall of the Trigan Empire, Lawrence began work on this new science fiction series for the Dutch Eppo comic magazine: it soon turned out to be his magnum opus. Revolving around the astronaut Storm who gets lost in time and returns to Earth finding it irrevocably changed, it follows his quest to discover what happened to his home planet. It soon turns out that in his absence Earth was conquered by the extra-terrestrial Azurian race who reduced the human populace to a barbarian state. Now Storm and his new found female companion Roodhaar (whose original English translation is not Redhair, but Ember) must start an uprising of humanity against their sinister and powerful Azurian overlords. 

It gets even better in the second half of the Storm series. After returning peace to Earth, Storm and Ember are swept across time and space to the other side of the galaxy, to the giant planet Pandarve, occupying a pocket of space all its own, where normal rules of physics don't apply and even planets themselves turn out to be life forms. The creepy and cruel ruler of Pandarve, theocrat Marduk, has brought Storm there for his own wicked purposes (conquering the multiverse, whatever that means), which of course Storm defies, after which he sets out on a new journey, exploring the strange new world of Pandarve while evading Marduk's numerous agents. 

Both the Earth and Pandarve segments of the Storm series feature a wide variety of extremely exotic locales, fantastic monsters and beautiful women (including some lovely gratuitous nudity), all superbly drawn by Lawrence, and, after his death, by various other talented artists who bravely continued his legacy. Many fans have dreamed of a Storm movie for decades, and even though at times there seemed to be something genuine in the works, it never materialized and most likely never will. The main reason is, as it usually is, a matter of money. To translate Storm to the silver screen in an acceptable fashion, pleasing fans and drawing in crowds of people new to this material, would require a very large sum of cash, along the lines only Hollywood could afford. Storm being Dutch property, it certainly will never be made in the Netherlands, unless it is a cartoon, which isn't a very appealing thought. And at this point in cinema history, an expensive space opera blockbuster is not something Hollywood studios are willing to ship out the big bucks for, considering the very recent flop called John Carter (which, I must strongly state, never deserved to flop!). Additionally, to do the source material justice, one Storm film just won't cut it. The series reads like classic science fiction serials, often ending openly enough for more. To condense the Earth saga (which was six to nine albums long, depending on where you feel it ended) into one film would either make for a very long film (which I don't mind), or a very feeble film. A TV series might do the trick in this regard, but the money issue remains, thus making quite sure Storm will probably stay a comic character for now, instead of storming to movie theatres.

Shadows of the Empire

This would be Star Wars Episode 5.5, which alone would make it a dubious project for many. However, that didn't stop Star Wars: The Clone Wars, the animated Episode 2.5 movie, which showed exactly what direction no fan would ever hope Shadows of the Empire would take. A live action film of Shadows of the Empire could however be a fabulous event, reuniting several beloved characters and returning to the classic style of Star Wars' finest hour, The Empire Strikes Back.

Set directly after that grandest of all Star Wars films, the Shadows of the Empire comic books basically tell three stories. Firstly, there's the continuing mission of the original hero characters Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia to rescue their friend Han Solo, encased in carbonite, from the clutches of the ruthless bounty hunter Boba Fett. Secondly, it tells of Boba's own experiences trying to get Solo to Jabba the Hutt to claim his prize, while staying in one piece after his rival bounty hunters band together to open the hunt on him, with the purpose of claiming Solo for their own and putting an end to the career of the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy. And lastly, there's Darth Vader's ungoing quest to draw his son Luke to the Dark Side of the Force, in which he finds himself thwarted by the reptilian alien Xizor, the leader of the Black Sun crime syndicate who has his own agenda, eliminating Vader and becoming the Emperor's “heir”. A lot of character potential here, unlike most of the Star Wars movies allowed, but still with the familiar and ever popular Star Wars planets, aliens and set pieces everybody has come to love. 

So why not make this into a movie? If you even got George Lucas to agree (which seems completely out of the question), the question then remains, how would you do it if not animated? The Clone Wars film turned out a total dud, but you can't get original characters like Luke and Leia to return after thirty years, except if you were to recast them, which undoubtedly many people would feel bad about, including the original actors. A live action Shadows of the Empire film, no matter how awesome the end result would be, is best described as a fanboy's dream about the now lost times of the good ol' Star Wars heydays. And it's probably best to just pick up the comic again whenever you've reached this particular level of dreamy nostalgia. Or play the video game. Or enjoy the action figures. Remember, despite the limited number of Star Wars films, the franchise has spawned enough merchandise to enjoy it on many alternate levels.

The Lost World

Now here's a book that has been made into a film on multiple occasions already, unlike the other entries on this list. However, all of the Lost World films left something to be desired. The best iteration, for example, lacked sound and colour, being a silent film from 1925. And some of the other incarnations were so abysmally lousy they are best forgotten altogether. Still, this is a classic tale from the age of early 20^th century exploration, written by world renowned author Arthur Conan Doyle, that despite many attempts still hasn't fully been done justice, despite its straightforward and fairly simple story line. The hot headed London professor Challenger claims he has found a lost world of prehistoric creatures on a mountain plateau in the South American jungle, after which an expedition is sent out to validate his bold statements. Upon arrival, they find out just how right he was, and the small group is stranded on the remote plateau amidst all sorts of nasty “extinct” creatures, where they have to fight for survival against overwhelming odds. Seems like a certain hit, a great mix of adventure, action and excitement. Think Peter Jackson's King Kong without the monkey. 

However, despite such narrative simplicity, it's been a while since a similar project hit movie screens. Maybe it's just too romantic and naive, too old fashioned for the contemporary moviegoing audience. Not to mention it would of course also be quite expensive to see it done right, relying on an abundance of visual effects work. For the moment, Hollywood just isn't very prone to taking risks, since it would rather rely on franchise names to help sell their products more easily, and The Lost World just isn't a franchise (though considering Doyle's number of Challenger stories, Challenger could be called a franchise after all, just not one with enough of a name to apeal to the general audience). However, we are living in the Golden Age of Remakes, where Hollywood is willing to regurgitate any old story in the hopes of making a profit, so revisiting the Lost World is not completely out of the question. Until that time, lost this world will stay.

Batman VS Predator

Speaking of franchise names, Batman currently is one of the biggest around in Hollywood for sure. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight have paved the way for a darker Caped Crusader, with overwhelming critical and audience acceptance. The Dark Knight Rises will continue this trend for 2012, but what's in it for Bats after that? How about going even grittier and combining it with a second franchise to make for a super franchise? Sounds like something that would interest Hollywood, were it not for the fact the other franchise is Predator. 

It worked surprisingly well on paper though, when the Dark Knight found himself drawn in a conflict between the Gotham City underworld and an invisible killer who hacked and slashed its way through Gotham's upper echelons, killing mob bosses, prize fighters and police officers alike in his attempt to draw out what he considered to be the ultimate trophy, namely a bit of superhero. After almost killing Batman in their first round, the vicious extra-terrestrial found out he was in for more than just a street brawl when the vigilante returned with a vengeance, bound to clear Gotham of this alien mess. Batman VS Predator was bloody and violent, but it read like a Gothic horror story and looked like one even more with its dark and shadowy colour palette, showing just how much you can do when you combine two very different franchises to good results. But having the two of them join forces cinematically might just prove to be impossible.

Though it has its own loyal fan base, the latest Robert Rodriguez' produced attempt to revitalize the Predator franchise for an average audience, Predators, probably wasn't successful enough for Hollywood's taste. Plus, this franchise works best when rated R, and that's probably a bit too hardcore for Batman fans who are used to PG-13 for now. What's more, there's the issue of copyrights. Fox currently holds the rights for the Predator franchise, while Batman belongs to rival corporation Warner Pictures. At this point, it seems more likely we'll see Fox and Warner go to war for real than it does for Batman and Predator to wrestle each other on the big screen. That at least gives the younger Batman fans the oportunity to grow up and reach the Predator age, so they can go and read the graphic novel without finding it too scary to see their hero being nearly sliced and diced by a creepy alien creature.

Whatever, we knew Batman was gonna win anyway. There's plenty of Predators, but there's only one Dark Knight.

So I end my list of potentially awe inspiring movie projects here, but there's plenty more where that came from. Be prepared to revisit this topic in another slow week because I can think of a few more works in other media that desperately need a movie made.