Clan of the Cave Bear, The

Rating: ***/*****, or 7/10

Based on the huge book by Jean M. Auel, this surprisingly short film (barely over 90 minutes long), focuses on the life of the Cro-Magnon girl Ayla, who is raised by a group of Neanderthals, many of whom look at the tall blond girl with distrust and disdain. As a young adult, Ayla (Daryl Hannah), far braver and brighter than the other women of “her” tribe, has a hard time keeping her place in this Clan of the Cave Bear, when she keeps getting into conflict with the stubborn mindless brute Broud (Thomas G. Waites), who is destined to become clan leader. Rebelling against clan rules, it's clear Ayla's destiny lies beyond the tribe that raised her. Respecting the original book, though obviously having neglected a great portion of its contents, the Neanderthals only communicate with grunts and sign language, while much of the movie is narrated by an external source. This film was originally slated to have gotten a sequel to expand on Ayla's trials and tribulations, but it never happened, making this movie feel frustratingly incomplete to those who are familiar with the source material. Even worse is the fact most available DVDs of this film only feature a cropped 1:1.33 aspect ratio, while the movie was released in theaters in a 1:2.20 widescreen format, thus making the undoubtedly grand natural vistas of the film hard to enjoy because so much of them is missing. Otherwise, this is quite a decent film, though inferior to the thematically similar Quest for Fire (1981).

Starring: Daryl Hannah, James Remar, Thomas G. Waites

Directed by Michael Chapman

USA: Warner Bros., 1986

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman

Rating: **/*****, or 4/10

Television remake of the ultimate fifties' cult film. A wife to an abusive and disloyal husband drives home through the night and gets caught by a flying saucer's ray beam. Afterwards, she finds her anger makes her grow taller and taller, until she's at least 50 ft. tall, and she sets out for revenge against her lowlife husband and everybody else who ever humiliated her. The reasons for remaking an already schlock low budget film, its classic silly title not withstanding, remain unclear as this version certainly does not improve upon the original and ends up a dull and predictable watch, despite its occasional funny feminist retro overtones.

Starring: Daryl Hannah, Daniel Baldwin, Frances Fisher

Directed by Christopher Guest

USA: Warner Bros. Television, 1993